Why considering your Postpartum period is the most selfless thing you can do for your family…
If you’re reading this you are already ahead of the curve. Congratulations. Thank you for being here to consider all your options.
Majority of us dive into pregnancy with a thirst for information about our unborn babies and can’t wait to plan a baby shower, design a nursery and eventually we get to preparing for the birth. What we often give little thought to is ‘once the baby is here, who’s taking care of us?’. This I believe, is what is so dangerous for many beautiful, well meaning families out there. Before I bombard you with the importance of preparing for your postpartum with consideration and love, I want to ask you to imagine the way you want to feel as a newborn parent. What are you eating? What are you doing? What does your home look like? Are there visitors calling or are you curled up in bed with your baby? Have you showered for the day? How does your heart feel? What are you saying to those you love? How are you interacting with your baby? Hold this vision close as we explore the information below.
Preparing for your dream scenario in postpartum is the most selfless thing you can do and here is why: When you are experiencing higher levels of oxytocin, you and your baby have the highest chance of building a strong connection, it provides a wonderful start to breastfeeding, allows you to enjoy the daily monotony of parenthood more, increases your ability to physically heal after giving birth AND most importantly gives you a better chance of positive long term health outcomes...which ultimately means you will be a happier, healthier parent… for longer! This not only benefits your family, this also benefits your community.
By taking your postpartum health seriously, by shining a light on it for others, by leading by example for your friends gives everyone a chance to learn, reflect and evolve as a society. We have lost our way in this modern culture and it is now up to us as birthing people to reflect, educate ourselves on ancient wisdom, and adopt these practices so we can do better for our children and generations to come. It really is so true, when we are happy and healthy, our children are happy and healthy.
There’s a saying that goes a little something like this: “If the birthing person does not feel like royalty, then everybody else isn’t doing their job properly”.
So how do we do this? Well, we start by getting comfortable with asking for help. This is probably the biggest block for most parents. We don’t want to be a ‘burden’, we find it hard to ask for our needs to be met and we truly think most people will help out at just the right time. I am here to give you permission to take the help. To abandon those stories that tell us we are a burden in any way shape or form and to tell you that, surprisingly, most people love to be asked to help out and be included in such an epic and wonderful time of your life. You can ask for help in the form of a meal roster, in the form of a facebook post, at your mother blessing or baby shower or by empowering your family with certain tasks. My biggest piece of advice would be to ask for the help early on in your pregnancy so when your baby has arrived, everybody knows how to best support you and you’re not 'delegating’ and organising things once baby is here. Remember, your main focus is to relish in being birthing royalty and been treated as such.
The next thing I’d love you to consider is, who benefits from you not receiving the help you deserve? Does it serve your family, you, or your community at large? Sit with that for a second.
The truth of the matter is, we need you at your best. Your family needs you to heal and recover so you can thrive in your postpartum period and beyond. Nobody wins if you are depleted, exhausted and emotionally unavailable a few months or years down the track into parenthood, especially when it can be avoided. Release yourself from guilt, one day soon you will be able to repay your family/friend/community by supporting another newborn mother with love and compassion. When you have been loved and cared for appropriately, you are more emotionally available to return that favour in the future, free from martyrdom and resentment. Hello healing of generational karma!
Now, not everybody has the financial or physical means to ensure community help or to hire a postpartum doula, for example, maybe you live in a rural area and it’s just you and your partner. Or maybe you live away from family and friends and haven’t yet built connections in your community. Whatever the situation, there are ways to prepare and ensure you give yourself the best chance at thriving. If this is the situation you find yourself in, I suggest stocking your freezer with high quality nutritious food so you don’t have to think about cooking every day/night. Research meal delivery services in your area that specialise in Postpartum food like Golden Month or Mama Goodness. Surviving off toast and cold cups of tea isn’t exactly going to leave you in peak physical form 12 months from birth. There are also many free online services that allow you to connect and chat with other parents going through similar things. Join a mother’s group in your area through your local council to ensure you have other’s looking out for you, and you for them. If you do start to feel overwhelmed please reach out to support services - PANDA is a wonderful service to keep up your sleeve if you need it.
There are so many reasons to invest in your postpartum, and so many that may be individual to you. My goal with this blog post was to 1. Educate on why this is such an important time in a birthing person’s life, 2. to help relieve us of the guilt we often feel about aksing for help, and 3. to raise the consciousness of all people to take more care of our newborn parents. If you feel called to see how a Postpartum doula could support you, please reach out to me and if I am not local to you I can try and suggest another doula in your area. Peace, Love and Joy to all our newborn parents x
