My IVF Experience
In the July of 2016 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and my life was sent into a spin. In the space of a few hours I had gone from talking about dinner options to discussing if I was going to be able to have a child or not. HUGE conversations to be having at 24, but ones that were incredibly important to me and my partner, Jack. I had never shied away from expressing my desires to become a parent and I shared these sentiments with Jack. Thankfully, we both knew how important it was to ensure we had an ‘insurance policy’ when it came to my fertility options if the worst case scenario hit.
I enquired with my Haematologist about furthering our initial discussions with an IVF and Fertility specialist and I was referred to a wonderful doctor here in Melbourne. I took my Mum with me for support and the three of us discussed what options I had, considering the little time I had before chemotherapy began. I was offered Zoladex and an Egg Harvesting procedure. I had hesitations about introducing another drug to my body when I was already going to be exposing myself to Chemotherapy plus the contraceptive pill had never agreed with me so I knew that messing with my hormones was dangerous territory with my already fragile mental state. Bottom line: Zoladex just didn’t sit right with me. I was overwhelmed by the cost of the egg harvesting procedure and my doctor could see that. She was compassionate and understanding towards my situation and said she would get the cost down as much as she could.
I had received encouraging egg count numbers, and my Mum had conceived her last child at 40 so the chances of early menopause was low. I was advised that most young cancer patients choose to forego any fertility preservation and just ‘crack on’ with cancer treatments and still had good results of falling pregnant naturally. All in all the chances of me falling pregnant post chemotherapy exposure were relatively high. I weighed all of these factors up and was almost certain that I’d be fine without fertility preservation.
“This was until my Mum asked me one simple question, “will you be worried the whole way through chemo wondering if you will ever be able to fall pregnant?”.”
I sat with this and the answer came. “Yes, I think I would be”. We both agreed that the stress of worrying was neither healthy, nor necessary when it could be avoided with just booking the procedure. My family helped me with the financial portion of the operation and I began the process.
It was a lengthy 4 weeks that I pushed back the commencement of my chemotherapy and to be honest, that scared me as I was already in a very advanced stage of the disease. I knew the doctors were buying me time because they knew how important becoming a parent was to me. In every single situation, it is so important to have care providers who respect and value your wishes when it comes to your own autonomy. The truth was, if I couldn’t become a parent I didn’t really want to survive. I knew this is why I had to follow through and give myself the best chance possible.
I underwent psych assessments to review my mental state to become a parent (mainly to ensure that this was my own personal choice), I saw nurses who explained the entire process, I bought the drugs, took them home and read the paperwork many times so I knew exactly what to do at the right time. I would be injecting myself daily to spur on ovulation of not only 1 egg (as our bodies naturally do) but many in order to achieve a successful egg retrieval procedure. Below is a video of me doing my first injection at home in my bathroom in 2016.
For 11 days I injected myself with the appropriate drugs in order to ensure that my most coveted title, “Mum”, would be possible for me. My ovaries swelled past their normal size which to me felt like the cancer was spreading. This alarmed me, yet my doctors insisted it was due to the drugs and not the cancer. I experienced minor discomfort with aches and pains and rested as much as possible during these times. I found it quite stressful making sure the injections were timed correctly, but in full transparency most of my emotional and physical ‘stressors’ were cancer induced and not the egg freezing process.
I walked into surgery feeling confident and so sure that this was most definitely the best decision for Jack and I, and our future family. The surgery was quick and painless, I was out of surgery in under 15 mins. I walked out a few hours later feeling like I was ready to kick cancer’s butt. It felt like such a relief to know that that part was finished and the healing from cancer could begin.
I got word a few days later that we had retrieved 15 eggs and 12 had been successfully frozen, I was really happy with those numbers.
With only three days between surgery and chemotherapy beginning my body definitely felt the impact of the multiple different drug exposures. My most intense reaction to the chemo was my first round. The doctors believed that this was due to the clash of chemicals in my system. I had mouth ulcers which prevented me from eating which meant I was predominantly bed ridden as my energy was so low. This was the only time I had this reaction to the chemo.
When it came to conceiving our first child, it was always our wish to not have to need our frozen eggs. We were both from large families which suggested we came from ‘fertile stock’. It was a nerve racking time as month after month I waited to see if my body could ‘perform’ the way I wanted it to. I had taken extremely good care of myself throughout treatment which I will share more about another time yet still my nerves were present as we awaited a positive result. We started actively trying in the January and were pregnant by the May, this pregnancy ended in miscarriage, however to me the overarching blessing was that my body could ‘do it’. I could naturally fall pregnant. The relief of this fact, after the initial devastation, truly felt like my own personal miracle.
I am so glad I have those eggs there if I ever do need them. After birthing my son, I wrote to the egg freezing facility saying the freezing cost of $500 every year seemed excessive now that I had begun my family. They were very understanding and said they would offer a ‘compassionate’ year free of cost so I had more time to make my decision. I was really moved by this act of kindness and even though we’ve fallen pregnant naturally again and I will most likely not need these eggs, the fact remains. I am so so so grateful for my IVF experience, if not simply the compassion and empathy I have gained for all women on their fertility journey. We truly will go to the ends of the earth and back to give our children life, such love, such devotion to the cause. I bow down to all who have been through this process.
To learn more about egg freezing here in Melbourne please click here.
